I used to write some elaborations on my favorite points or just write it originally in my book. I firmly believe it will help me to reinforce my memory on whatever I’ve just finished reading it and hopefully increasing my critical thinking ability. Though my mood navigates me to write it here—so lemme break it steeply down.
1. The 5 second rule.
Where it helps us to force ourselves from procrastination. I honestly never try this tips before, but it’s quite interesting to apply the rule whenever I feel glued in my bed. This rule will help us to push ourselves through fear, anxious, laziness, excuses, anxiety, overwhelm—and eventually make us used of it.
2. My life didn’t change because of one thing that I did; it changed because of the thousands of mornings where I woke up and didn’t feel like getting out of bed, but I 5-4-3-2-1 made myself do it.
If I could linked this statements with insights in the “Atomic Habits” book, I’d gladly do it. But, I haven’t read that book yet (still in my TBR books, in queues!). I’ve seen a lot of successful people talked about how impactful consistency is and how will possibly become greater every little things we do. Simply, combine consistency and small movements is a perfect combo. However, many of us couldn’t stay long in the progress, we always will something instant. Generation above us complain about how hardly they’d have been becoming the person they are now, while Gen Z wanna be them but in a quick way. Insanely true because I’m a Gen Z as well.
3. I am not special, or different, or gifted, or lucky; I just found the tools that worked for me and I used them.
Howdy, Mel! We’re in the same line! Lol. I wasn’t born with a special ability from God, so if someone sees me succeed, it definitely comes from my hard determination.
4. The problem isn’ t you. The problem is the power you unknowingly give to other people.
Spoiler: this is the overall conclusion what the book talks about, and how we use this in many contexts. Sometimes the problem emerges because our own thoughts. Other people don’t think as hard as we do. It just ourselves! Other people are not wrong, I’m the only one who’s wrong! We often blame other people, but actually it is just us to make it complicated. We’re just able to control ourselves, not others. We’re able to control our reaction and emotion towards other’s action.
5. Not everyone is worth my energy.
When you feel unappreciated, let them. When they ignore your kindness, let them. When they abandon your effort, let them. You’ll feel more liberating because you focus on things in your control. You’ll have more time with yourself—to think, to breathe, to live, to see because there’s always be someone who loves you. We often unrealized that there’s a person who’s always open up their heart for us, because we’re too focus on the other ones. Sad tho, imagining they’re striving to get our heart but we ignore them and choose to strand in a wrong heart. So, let’s open our eyes wider and welcome more.
6. Let Them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you.
If they appreciate you, they will behave in the way that you want, otherwise, let them be and move on. Why do you want to be with someone who does this to you?
7. The core principle of stoicism: consciously allowing others to make their own choices and live their lives, without feeling the need to manage or influence their behavior.
8. Buddhism and radical acceptance: The pain we feel often stems from wishing things were different than they are.
9. Detachment theory: You create a mental gap between your emotions and the situation at hand, allowing yourself to observe what’s happening without being consumed by it.
10. Saying let them should be balanced with saying let me.
In certain situations, we have to consider what role are we in and what we want to do about it. When we say let them and don’t do anything afterwards, we’ll feel superior just only at the moment right after we say let them. The let them theory isn’t about superiority at all, it’s about balance. Giving to other people and for ourselves. Without this step, we’ll find ourselves disconnected rather than empowered. Moreover, it’s not an excuse to make us giving the silent treatment. It helps us to choose the right way to respond.
11. Every time you edit what you post, or stay silent in class or at work, or hide in the back of the group photo, you are engaging in self-rejection.
We’re THE ONE who’re telling ourselves that we’re not good enough. Worrying about what others might think magnifies self-doubt. Yea, the hard yet inevitable truth is it just us who too harsh to our own self.
12. Everybody has critical opinions about people they love as well as total strangers. It is a fact of life.
Imagine, you’re walking down the street and suddenly something pop up in your mind about how weird the man whose cowboy hat and gentleman suits unite in one outfits. It proves sometimes we cannot control our own thoughts, so how could we control other’s minds? Another truth is, just because they have a negative opinion about you, doesn’t mean they negatively feel about you as whole.
13. The fear of what other people may think is a major source of your self-doubt.
I admit that I still feel this way. It means everything I’m afraid of is tied to other people. Eventho others still talk badly about me, it won’t change anything. I still can be myself, I still can do everything I want. They don’t actually block me, it’s just only me who allows myself to do so.
14. The more you use the Let Them Theory, the more you’ll realize that, underneath this fear, your soul has been nudging you all along in the direction that is meant for you. It’s just been buried beneath all this fear.
Yea, this theory is a W take.
15. I’ll do anything in the way that makes ME proud.
I think I’ve found my life purpose… Or a motto…
16. A lot of the time when your family cares, they show it by pushing you.
Or yelling. I’ve been mistaken for translating my mom’s repetitive reminder. Yet it might be annoying for me, but I’ve just known it is just because my mom cared about me and she had no idea of doing anything to express her love except that. Everyone has their own way to express their love, feeling, affection, and more. However, it undeniably we don’t like their approach and we can’t change them. Just let them show their loves in a way that they proud. They feel entitled to their opinions because they think they know what’s best for you. Which is typically also what feels best for them. LET THEM be and LET ME choose whether I want to follow them or stand in my own sake.
17. Frame of reference.
I brutally love this concept. When we’re understanding the lens through which somebody sees something. Lemme take an example, when my mom yelled to me because I was scrolling thoroughly until I forgot had to do my homework. If I had taken this concept, I wouldn’t have been upset with her. Oh one thing to remember, everyone has different frames of reference, so put yourself in every possible frame.
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