I can’t let it rots in my mind. So, I’m wondering why it’s hard for me to master certain skills—life skills importantly. I’ve been doing a lot of practical life skills such as how to ride a motorbike, how to cook main course, how to play a recorder, how to chop a mango, how to sew, and more. One thing I noticed was about I need a guidance, either a person or a book/video tutorial. I might able to learn it by myself, but not as successful as if I’m doing it with a helper. However, I’d to criticize someone I trust to be my tutor, somehow act in the way that’s actually a bit helpless. At first, I think it’d be fair, like 50/50 this and that during my learning, but it’d be way better if that helpless act is vanished.
To get you clearer, lemme take you to an example. I want to learn how to chop a mango NEATLY (before someone speculates that I can’t), so I go to one of my family. I ask them to show me how and to look after how my hands go. I expect to make mistakes, I expect to not be as neat as they do, I expect to make a mess, and I expect they will throw some words for me. Eventho I’ve expected such common words are given for me which I also believe this could happen to some of curious kids outside there who want to learn something like me, I still hope it can be reduced.
Here are the words if you (alhamdulillah) never get this:
“How can you not do that? What will you be?” In Indo it goes like, “Masa gitu doang ga bisa? Mau jadi apa kamu?”
“See your friends, they can do that. Why can’t you?” In Indo, “Liat noh temen kamu, mereka aja bisa masa kamu ngga?” This is a comparative sentence that’s often said.
“In the past days, all of us are able to do this. Why kids nowadays can’t do the same like us?” Again, in Indo, “Orang jaman dulu aja gampang ah begini begitu, kenapa sekarang pada susah dah.” And they will compare then and now.
I don’t want to offend anything for now except can we teach someone with patience and without comparison? If we want to make them be as someone we want them to be, please teach them with patience, kindness, compassion, and commitment. I might be offended or pissed off after someone says that to me, especially my family. But I usually take it for granted or jokes, otherwise, I’d be so emotional and won’t achieve what I’m curious about. After receiving those words, most of us tend to be unmotivated, discouraged, and questioning our self-worth. We silently think if we weren’t able to do little things, we wouldn’t achieve bigger things—then driving into a stop sign.
I truly know our generation, our situation, our era is different. Good for them who were living in the past and also good for us who live today. They, who’re living in those colonialism times, economic crisis times, no technological advancement, went school by walking for 5 km and more—might didn’t receive what we demand now. They never know how to teach their children delicately, they never know about what their children (who live in different times) want, they never got appreciation so they don’t know how to do that, or maybe they never even noticed that. So I think, if they can’t be what we want from them, we still can be what we want to others.
As always: Please enlighten me, if you have another point of references or wanna improve my writing. Thank you!
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